Once again it took quite some time to write those next few words. Let’s see what changed since then. Currently I’m not in the best mood retrospectively. Yesterday could have been quite a pivotal change (at least on my mind) in my professional life although at the end it turned out not to happen yet. I can’t disclose it to its core but seems like the expectations towards me differ from what drives me and how friends/workmates would describe my skills and the key characteristics of me.
Anyway – what I try to express is, that crashing against that little wall put me in a mood of self reflection.
Is my own perception of me and my skills obscured by some false cockiness or arrogance which would be the least what I want?
Because I tend to ignore and neglect people with an exceptional need to define themselves by the noise they generate to promote their ego often obscuring the pure essential body of their small output.
Is it the other way round and I’m too quiet when doing good work?
So accomplishments on my side fall short because of the sheer amount of work produced in the environment I act in.
Did it turn out just the right way it was supposed to be?
A little lack of skills and a fixed focus on basement, structure & technology neglecting communicational essentials seem to be the parts I have to work on. I don’t know but I guess as almost always — time will tell.
Am I basically doing the right thing? I truly believe so because it still is the work I feel joyful about most of the time. Because of the people, ideas, creativity and finally still the never ending challenge.
Just keep on rocking.
I’ll try to. Or drawing consequences instead.